Just for Laughs

I ran across this little "quiz" on the internet, and decided that it would make a cute article to analyze:

"The Difference Between a Conservative and a Liberal

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative likes guns, he believes that he has the right to own a fully-automatic military assualt weapon with armor-piercing bullets that should not have to be locked away from anyone.
If a liberal likes guns, he believes that personal firearms should be limited to those appropriate for individual self-defense, target competition and hunting, and that those weapons and their ammunitions should be properly secured so that minor children and burglers cannot locate and mis-use them.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is an omnivore, he believes that deep-fat frying is the best way to cook everything.
If a liberal is an omnivore, he believes that harmful products should be banned from food. This includes flavor-enhancers that encourage over-eating.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is homosexual, he believes that he is a second-class citizen who is rightfully deprived of civil rights routinely granted to other groups.
If a liberal is homosexual, he wants the right to marry, to file a joint tax return with his spouse, to leave his estate to his spouse and to be treated no differently than anyone else.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he will gladly take the unemployment and welfare offered to him, then work "under the table" to get more money. When he gets regular employment, he will bitch about having his tax money go to assist others.
A liberal will accept assistance until he can again become productive, when he will re-pay the system (through taxes and charitable contributions) for what he has taken out.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

A conservative takes everything said by a talk show host as being the truth
A liberal prefers to listen to something intelligent.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced...unless it's a foreign religion, of course.

Until I read this, I had never realized that conservatives believe and practice the indiginous religions of the original people of this country.
A liberal is suprised to discover that Christianity, Catholoicism, and Judiasm are not practiced by conservatives.
A liberal believes what the bill of rights says about separation of Church and State.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

A conservative believes that if you do not have the money to treat a major illness, you should die from it.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A conservative will accept this unthinkingly and not reflect on it except as a 'joke'

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."

A liberal might thoughtfully analyze this and reflect that one of the major differences between a liberal and a conservative is this:

A conservative is willing to accept simplistic slogans for substance and believe that the world can be comprehended in black and white.
A liberal understands that life is complex and that there is no "one size fits all" answer to most of life's questions.

Well I forwarded it to you so where does that put me?"

My comments are in black (and red) Feel free to chime in with your own.